Last DMA recital

I finished playing my last DMA recital a couple weeks ago. It is rather surreal that it is over because I didn't feel like I was prepared for this series. I did not manage to have full practice recitals prior to the official recital on April 4. On top of that, I fell pretty sick with a bad cold and cough five days before the recital. I was thankful it wasn't the flu or tonsillitis but I was taking a good cocktail of drugs to get me through the week.

I had planned a rather ambitious program for the recital. Here is the order of my program:
Lin Yue Pei, Kang Ding Love Song
Antonio Soler, Sonata in E minor and Sonata in G major
Beethoven, Sonata in E minor, op. 90
Chopin, Barcarolle op. 60
Grainger, Beautiful Fresh Flower
Tcherepnin, "Chant" from Five Chinese Concert Etudes, op. 52
Schumann, Papillons, op. 2
Stephen Hough/Deng Yu-Sian, Pining for the Spring Breeze
Arensky, Etude on a Chinese Theme, op. 25 no. 3

April 4 did roll around and it was the first afternoon recital I had played. I felt like abandoning my own recital and crawling back into bed. I'm not sure whether this was due to being sick, having a hangover from the cough medicine or not feeling ready. I really did not want to be in the spotlight that afternoon. I had planned the recital fairly meticulously - posters, flowers (stage and foyer), program & notes, display (foyer), reception venue and menu, dress and everything. I had friends who helped and sponsors for the reception. I could feel the effects of the drugs as I felt my brain was not as alert. I just played the recital for me, if not for anyone else and just told myself "you can do this, one piece at a time". I am pleased with the recital, mistakes and all. When I walked out after the last piece, I said to myself, "It's over, it is finally over".

I played at Southwestern College in Winfield Kansas on April 13. I had a great time playing for my Winfield family although I was fairly worn out from writing my document. Never write a document/dissertation and play a recital at the same time. I was an introvert that evening, and again just played for me. I noticed the hall was dead silent and I knew I had their attention. It's easy and difficult to play at SC. They've heard me since my junior recital, so I better have improved or bring something new to the table each time. I think I played with better control, tone production and expressivity, but I will need to review the video and see.

I learned a lot from the recitals, maybe not really about piano playing as much as I learned about myself. I love performing now and have overcome my fear of being on stage. My perfectionism is surrendered and I am comfortable with my shortcomings. There is and always will be room for improvement. There is and always will be someone who plays better (and there are many out there!). I am just called to be a good steward of the measure which has been given to me, no more and no less.

With that said, I'm disappearing from the stage for some time. I may take the opportunity to retrain and fix some of my basic problems. It would alleviate the frustration I have had at the piano and allow me to reassess my piano playing. Don't worry, I'll keep playing at home!

Summer Plans 2009

Things I look forward to when I finish everything at UA:

1. Job applications: Quite a few decisions to make on what career path I would like to take. I'm looking for a job combining music, cultural studies or Chinese studies. Very few can claim to have lived in and taught the Hokey Pokey to two remote villages in China!

2. Read: I'm more interested in non-fiction so I will probably keep reading books on Chinese history and Beethoven. Maybe I'll start some work on tracing Beethoven in Chinese music history?

3. Piano: I want to attend Barbara Lister-Sink's workshop but that depends a lot on $$ and transportation. I'm toying with the idea of playing through more Beethoven stuff or I'll return to Bach.

4. Chinese: I have all my Chinese textbooks with me and I can't wait to dig into them again. I will continue translating Madame Mao's speeches and possibly prepare them for publication. I have several Chinese versions of English texts I would like to start working on like the "History of Western Music" Palisca-Grout and the bible.

5. Car: Yes, it's time to let go of my car or I can attempt to fix it again on my own with a friend's help. Distributor cap, I officially dislike you! Where's the lifetime warranty? I'm getting around in a borrowed vehicle these few weeks (or months).

6. Beading: I'm thinking of expanding jewelry making to beading embroidery. I'm a little concerned as the last time I did such intricate work, I inflamed a nerve in my right wrist. No permanent effects, but it sure hurt! I long to work on stained glass again.

7. Dance as much as I can.

8. Secret! You'll find out when it happens.

DMA: The most important thing I learned

It hit me about twenty minutes ago. I think the extrovert in me is back in full. I've been an introvert for all eleven years of higher ed. My DMA taught me that I am not an introvert! Priceless, right?

Earlier this evening, I danced on the Quad alone, while others watched. Never did that before in my life! I have never hated being at home, in front of my computer all day than these few weeks. Tonight is tough for the extrovert in me. There's ballroom and salsa dancing on the Quad. My China gang is out for dinner and more dancing at El Rincon. What do I have to do? Edit the document so the "first" draft can be submitted tomorrow. I would prefer planning tomorrow's guest lecture on Cultural Revolution art and music for HY 504. That is way more exciting.

Yes, I found out about more red tape than I wish to care about concerning committee meetings and the like. Duh, I should have known there must be a meeting for the first draft but nobody said anything and it isn't posted anywhere. I wish the School of Music had its own checklist for graduate students writing documents. I found out more about the process through the women's support group I'm in. (Yes, I joined a support group and it's been very informational. No one has been emotional or just complaining. We share all the information we have about research, shortcuts, computers and the like. I heard some guys want to join us but they should start their own.)

It's almost done. Two more weeks of this and I'll put my dance shoes back on!

The answer to your question about what I am going to do next? I'll exaggerate on what I said on my master's commencement since this is the doctorate: I join the ranks of the unemployed, but I have an even brighter future!! (Now I should print that on t-shirts and sell it at commencement ceremonies come May. Could make a buck or two *wink*)